Swear Jar

Donnie briggs - life coach

Donnie Briggs

WTF

Okay, the dream starts of in a Brewfest setting. Oh, well, this could be due to the fact that I went to a Brewfest last night. I was with my friend G-$ and my girlfriend T*. We were milling about amongst the crowd of fellow beer drinkers, watching the "weirdos" that had come out for the event. There was one group of guys that stands out from the dream. Four guys that looked like some sort of steroid, redneck Hall and Oates whatever. The dream continued on in a blur of beer samples and looking at "freaks." At one point I felt a hand on my shoulder and as I turned to see who was grabbing me I heard, "Adam! Where have you been?!" I was confronted by three men, country boys for sure. After a brief tete-a-tete it was determined that I was not the Adam they were thinking of. No, I am not from Pensacola.

Shortly after that I found myself alone at a table as T* and G$ had gone on ahead. There wasn't anyone manning the tap so I decided to help myself to a sample. This is not good etiquette at a beer tasting. As soon as I had filled my sample cup I had been busted. Some guy yelled, "Charlie! We got another one!" He set upon me immediately and put a clear wristband on my left wrist. This clear wrist band is the "scarlet letter" of an attendee that has been cut off and thrown out. I did not fight the judgement or punishment; I went willingly.

As we walked out of the building I saw something very, very odd. There was a naked man lying on the ground, on the concrete, to be more precise. At first glance I thought the man was deformed. When I looked back the second time I could see that he wasn't all that deformed, just that he had a third leg. No, not a giant penis, but a third leg. I thought to myself how odd that some naked freak would be on the ground like that. Just then I spotted T* coming down the ramp behind me and I asked her what she thought about the naked man on the ground. She promptly told me that the naked freak was "so-and-so" and that he was fucking around with the space-time continuum; creating his own reality.

At this point, the little naked freak started wiggling and shaking. Everything started transforming immediately. Not really transformed, but more that everything seemed to be getting covered in thick layers of some sort of brown colored "schtuff." The schtuff seemed to harden quickly. I looked at T*, she was quickly being covered in the schtuff. I said, "We gotta go!" We ran out the building as everything and everybody was being covered in schtuff.